Tag Archives: marriage issues

March 24, 2018

 

Lone Cornfield Tree

 

A.Z.,

Maybe I just have a really overactive imagination, but I’m almost positive my boss of six months is interested in having an affair with me. We work in a customer-service-based environment. Whenever business is slow, my manager almost always begins to flirt with me. She always touches my arm when she speaks with me, and sometimes she even touches my knee. No matter what I say to her, she always laughs and flutters her eyelashes. Although she’s married and has a kid, I don’t know that she’s all that happy. Her husband is a rich prick, for one thing, for whom nothing ever seems to be good enough. She has also confided in me that they almost never have sex.

If my manager is in fact interested in me, should I go for it? The last thing I want is to make things between me and my manager any more awkward, as I plan to continue working there until I’m finally out of graduate school. At the same time, I don’t know that I want to pass up what might be a really great opportunity. Not only is my manager terribly attractive, but she seems to be actually interested. And it’s not like I’ve been having a whole lot of luck in the love department.

—More Than Just a Mere Employee?

 

Hello there, More Than Just a Mere Employee.

Looks like you have found yourself in a real pickle. On the one hand, you seem to like your job and don’t want to lose it. On the other, you don’t want to miss out on a potential romantic opportunity.

Unfortunately, I do believe it will be nearly impossible to take both paths simultaneously. You will therefore have to choose between the two options. If you do decide to pursue a romantic relationship, be warned. Even if it does work out and she is in fact interested in you, things will never again be the same for you. What if you have sex and she then regrets it? Worse still, what if her husband finally gets wind of it? Not only will things between you then be very awkward, but her entire marriage may well fall apart—with you getting the full brunt of the blame for it. I therefore suggest you focus on school and your job for the time being and see where things go. If (and that is a very big if) her marriage does not work out, you could always pursue a relationship with your manager later, AFTER you have graduated from school and no longer work there.

In the meantime, I suggest you try and stop with all the flirting. Although your manager may in fact be flirting with you—if anything, just to pass the time—that does not necessarily mean she wants things to progress to the next level. The last thing either one of you needs is to further complicate what is presumably a very busy, demanding workplace with something as potentially life-altering as an extramarital affair.

 


 

Feel free to contact Anonymous Zaius and ask him dating/relationship questions at AnonymousZaius@gmail.com.

For the record, Anonymous Zaius (AKA Jason Famous) is not, nor has he ever been, a licensed counselor or psychologist. What advice he has to give was acquired the old-fashioned way, through the dual schools of both hard knocks and his own personal dating experience. It thus goes without saying the above dating advice is to be used for purposes of entertainment only.

 

Back to Top

March 10, 2018

 

Mirror Lake Mts

 

A.Z.,

Any advice for a guy getting his wife to take part in a threesome (me with her and another girl, thank you, not her and me with another guy)? I don’t want to cheat, per se, I just think adding another woman to our lovemaking might make it a little more kinky. I know for a fact my wife “experimented” with her fair share of girls back in college, so how come she apparently has no interest in inviting one of her hot, good-looking friends to come join us? I don’t even need to have sex with her friend, although that sure as hell would be a whole lot of fun. I am simply interested in expanding our sexual horizons as a married couple—for the good of our marriage, if anything, as I have in fact found myself growing rather bored.

—Interested in Just a Little More Fun

 

Hello, Interested.

No offense, but I do believe this subject should be debated purely between you and your wife. Either your wife is interested in “expanding your sexual horizons,” or she isn’t. If she is, then lucky you. If she isn’t, I really wouldn’t push it. I also wouldn’t bring up what might or might not have happened between your wife and other women back in college. Everyone goes through phases. If that happens to be an aspect of her life that your wife would rather not revisit, then there you have it. The last thing she needs is for her husband and loyal life partner to bring something up from her past like that—which she more than likely shared with you in good faith—and then use it to try and manipulate her into doing something she obviously isn’t comfortably with.

 


 

Feel free to contact Anonymous Zaius and ask him dating/relationship questions at AnonymousZaius@gmail.com.

For the record, Anonymous Zaius (AKA Jason Famous) is not, nor has he ever been, a licensed counselor or psychologist. What advice he has to give was acquired the old-fashioned way, through the dual schools of both hard knocks and his own personal dating experience. It thus goes without saying the above dating advice is to be used for purposes of entertainment only.

 

Back to Top

February 23, 2018

 

Mountain Creek

 

A.Z.,

Maybe it’s just because we keep on getting older, but my relationship with my wife seems to be currently in the doldrums. We still love each other, but there just seems to be no spark. We get up every morning at the same time, eat our own separate breakfasts, quick kiss, and then head off to work. We then come home from our jobs, eat dinner, and then sit in front of the television, where we either zone out or browse our smartphones until it’s finally time for bed. Maybe once or twice a month we actually have sex. The sex is always missionary, and it is almost always over within a quick couple of minutes. We are both in our mid-forties now and we have no kids. Had I known this was what we were in for, I might have reconsidered having children. As it is, I find myself bored a good part of the time. About the only things that give me real joy anymore are alcohol and the occasional pornography. Don’t get me wrong. I totally love my wife. I just don’t know that having sex once or twice a month is quite enough for me.

In sum, is all of this normal, or is there perhaps something wrong with us?

—Bored Husband

 

Hello, Bored.

If I were the author of one of those other famous advice columns out there, I would probably suggest that you discuss all this with your doctor—after which you can count on your doctor checking your testosterone levels and then screening you for depression. So good thing that I am NOT one of those other mainstream advice columnists. What you are describing is, unfortunately, par for the course in our current day and despicable age. Instead of turning on the pointless television or browsing the Internet on your phones, sit down and actually talk to each other. Discuss your wife’s day with her, and then tell her all about your own day. If that goes nowhere, take your wife’s hands in your own, look her in the eyes, and then ask her to share with you all her innermost dreams. That you are currently bored out of your mind is in no way abnormal, nor should it be in any way surprising. There is so much more to our world than our jobs, and our phones, and our godforsaken high-definition television sets. I honestly do not believe that human beings evolved from once being apes to waste our lives away being slaves to our own technology. Instead of making love to some miserable simulacra of a beautiful woman on your TV or computer screen, try making love—and real, passionate love—to your true-to-life wife. Pour all your alcohol down the drain and remember what it is like to live, and to truly live—free of all limiting poisons and free of all psychological doubts. Take a long walk outside and breathe deeply in, surrounded by the smells and the sounds of vast nature.

No matter what anyone else might ever tell you—be that your doctor, your well-meaning friends, or even some pointless, online advice columnist—it is never too late to regain the good things we have all so foolishly lost. In truth, the only thing stopping you is in fact you.

 


 

Feel free to contact Anonymous Zaius and ask him dating/relationship questions at AnonymousZaius@gmail.com.

For the record, Anonymous Zaius (AKA Jason Famous) is not, nor has he ever been, a licensed counselor or psychologist. What advice he has to give was acquired the old-fashioned way, through the dual schools of both hard knocks and his own personal dating experience. It thus goes without saying the above dating advice is to be used for purposes of entertainment only.

 

Back to Top