My future wife and I currently work at the same local small business. I am a manager, and she is only an entry-level employee. It has recently become clear that we will no longer be able to continue to work together—at least not if we want to pursue our romantic relationship any further. Needless to say, I would never have proposed if I didn’t think the two of us had a bright and very hopeful romantic future. It is precisely right there where the rub comes in. Now that it has become clear one of us has to leave the workplace, my fiancée is very much adamant that it should be me. Because her position is only entry level, it is my fiancée’s reasoning that me leaving (since one of us will have to leave anyway) will inevitably allow for her to move further upwards through the company, which very much strives to promote from within. That being said, it has taken me many years to achieve the level of manager, and there is certainly no guarantee I will be able to find a job in our community that pays nearly so well as the job I currently have. Besides which, I love what I do and I don’t want to leave.
So what do you think? If one of us has to leave the company, shouldn’t it be the one at the bottom end of the totem pole? It goes without saying that my fiancée will be able to find a similarly low-paying entry-level job elsewhere.
—Trying Hard to Not Be Selfish
Hi, Trying Hard.
I honestly see very little amiss with your reasoning. Common sense seems to dictate that if one of you has to leave the same company anyway, than it should almost certainly be the one in a lower position—unless of course the higher-up individual does not have plans to stay there much longer. You obviously want very much to stay, and you have also presumably worked very hard to get where you are.
That being said, try not to make too big a point of your fiancée finding “a similarly low-paying entry-level job elsewhere.” Unless of course you want to sound like a big boob and have your fiancée ultimately drop you.
Feel free to contact Anonymous Zaius and ask him dating/relationship questions at AnonymousZaius@gmail.com.
For the record, Anonymous Zaius (AKA Jason Famous) is not, nor has he ever been, a licensed counselor or psychologist. What advice he has to give was acquired the old-fashioned way, through the dual schools of both hard knocks and his own personal dating experience. It thus goes without saying the above dating advice is to be used for purposes of entertainment only.